Behind reFIND.
It's amazing how fast and how randomly your direction in life can change.
Even for me, the reigning Queen of Random, starting reFIND Salvage was not something I ever imagined doing. I certainly knew that one day I would be my own boss and have my own business. I'm just not one for taking direction from others or working to meet someone else's timelines.
I thought I would run a fusion food truck selling kimchi tacos or open a funky cafe in a small town. I have always loved food - I have a degree in Nutrition and have worked for almost 10 years in the food industry. My corporate career was really taking off. But unfortunately, my sense of self was suffering.
I've always had a somewhat creative side - I excelled in art & music in high school, but with goals to attend University in a science program, I had to sacrifice the art classes I loved for physics and chemistry. After all, taking science & math is what will pay the bills one day right? I mean, who makes money as an artist or musician? (insert sarcastic tone here). The school system steers you away from doing things you love on the grounds that you will never get a job doing it. School. Kills. Creativity.
So over the years, my creative side had been suppressed. Every now and then I would pick up a paint brush or a quart of stain and refinish something for our home or for friends & family. When I would finish a project, there was always a real sense of accomplishment and an immediate reward - something I had never experienced in my day-to-day work life.
One day last summer, I left work and I cried the whole way home. I had injured my calf and was on crutches, all while still trying to manage the lofty expectations and heavy workload of my job. This was becoming the norm for me. I was having absolute meltdowns about work stress, a negative work environment and trying to please everyone but myself. It was really taking a toll on my health. I was waking up through the night having extreme panic attacks - severe chest pains and shortness of breath. One night, I truly thought I was having a heart attack.
This all led to a formal diagnosis of anxiety & depression. Yes, I knew this has always been an underlying issue for me, but to finally accept and admit it has been a challenge. I always prided myself in being a fighter - I could get through anything and everything without any help from anyone.
But I needed help.
My doctor wrote me off work on sick leave for 8 weeks. I started attending therapy where I was encouraged to find what it is in life that I truly love and follow it. I learned to let go of caring about what everyone else would think if I chose to leave the corporate world. Besides - if it was making me THAT unhappy, why would I want to be there?
In my time off, I found that isolating myself in our back shed with a thrift store find, a paint brush and some Bon Jovi tunes - I felt alive again. I would pick up an old pallet at the side of the road or a discarded dresser from the dump and transform it into something new and beautiful. One day, my husband came home and I was on our front porch with every tool we owned scattered around me.
He says 'What on earth are you doing'?
'I'm making a table'.
Had I lost my marbles? Maybe.
Had I figured out what it is I love to do? Damn right!
I started listing my pieces on local buy-and-sell sites and online classifieds. There seemed to be a real demand in our area for things handmade, recycled and rustic. At first I thought, no one is going to like this crap I randomly make in my back shed - but to my surprise, I ended up with a waitlist of people anxiously lined up for the next one to be made.
I decided to come up with a business name, design a logo, launch a Facebook site and start to make this little side-job look a little more professional. I returned to my corporate job, but found I was no longer focused on my projects at work - I was WAY more excited and focused on my personal project, reFIND Salvage.
One day at work - I had my 'annual review'. I was to go to the meeting with my manager and detail all my business and personal development goals for the upcoming year. This literally means: what s**t will I accomplish this year in order for me to get my yearly bonus?
I hate carrot dangling.
As I reviewed the form and tried to jot down some BS on paper, I soon realized - my personal goals have nothing to do with this company. I don't want to try and help this company make millions of dollars. I really don't care what the corporation thinks I need to 'improve' to help their bottom line.
So that day, I walked away from the corporate world. I was done trying to climb a ladder that was leaned against the wrong wall. As I move my little home business to a brick & mortar retail shop, I am for the first time in my career excited for what is to come. Was my career in the corporate world a waste? Absolutely not! The skills I've learned and developed there are transferable and will help me make reFIND Salvage a success.
Mandy
